Good Evening. We would like
to extend our deep appreciation to all parents, grandparents, families and
friends of the graduates. Thank you for
surrounding these remarkable graduates with love today. We welcome other esteemed guests including past
and present Board of Education members, administrators, teachers and
staff. Additionally, we recognize Mayor
Dave Fried, Township Business Administrator Joy Tozzi, Chief of Police Chris
Nitti, Assemblyman Daniel Benson, and Council member Dan Schuberth. We are
grateful to our strong and supportive community.
Tonight we celebrate the culmination of your childhood. Following
this graduation ceremony, each of you will take the initial steps on the next
phase of your life’s journey. Many in
the Class of 2019 will be attending colleges and universities. Some will travel
a few miles down the road to Mercer County College and others will set out for
schools across the country. Still others
will enroll in trade schools, apprenticeship programs, or go on to bravely
serve our country.
Regardless of the destination, each of you are about to embark on
a journey that is uniquely personal and uniquely yours.
Yet, sometimes, when we hear about another person’s path our inner
critic emerges and we begin to compare our own life to theirs. Why is
this? Everywhere we turn our culture
dictates who we should be and how we should live. Exposure to this type of conditioning begins
when we are young and assaults us day after day with a barrage of messages from
TV, the internet, print and social media.
Without knowing a thing about us, “experts” from all walks of life are
happy to provide unsolicited advice on pursuing the right degree, choosing the
most lucrative career path, or how best to invest our time and our money. Commercials and reality TV convince us that
there is a perfect car to help to maintain our image. They tout perfect products to ensure that we
fit into a narrowly defined standard of beauty.
They tell us what foods to eat and even what medications we should take
to maintain our health. All in an effort
to help us create the “perfect” life.
Education, too, has its own narrowly defined measuring stick for
success. Although student report cards
have been redesigned to reflect a more standards-based grading system, parents
can’t help but wonder how their child’s progress compares to their peers. The college admissions process still relies
on standardized tests such as the SAT and ACT, which tend to measure discipline-based
knowledge rather than essential life skills such as critical thinking, problem
solving, effective communication, and resilience, all components of our
Robbinsville Ready initiative.
But our implementation of Robbinsville Ready is just one small
step in combating a countless array of unhealthy external messages, those
little seeds of doubt, that cause us to second guess ourselves and our
choices. It is this insidious type of
uncertainty that can show up when we least expect it and prevent us from taking
risks, trying new things, and making mistakes.
In Shakespeare’s Measure for
Measure, Lucio captures this sentiment when he exclaims,
“Our doubts are traitors,
and make us lose the good we oft might win,
by fearing to attempt.”
This doubt...or fear as Lucio points out...often blocks us from
embracing our imperfections, those qualities that make us uniquely us.
Bestselling author and research professor at the University of
Houston, Brene Brown, writes extensively about the emotional armor we wear to
protect us against hurt. Brown professes
that rather than shielding us - this armor actually prevents us from “growing
into our gifts and ourselves.” She challenges us to shed this armor “by
examining the need to be perfect and please others at the expense of our own
life.”
If I could offer you one take away from this evening’s
celebration, it would be this. Embrace
the imperfection in others. For by
embracing the imperfection in others, you will actually learn to be more
compassionate with yourself. Self-doubt is a habit, an endless loop of negative
self-talk that serves no one well, but most of all ourselves. When we become
conscious of it, we realize that if we choose to - we can let it go.
Graduates, I have a secret to tell you tonight. Shhhhhh!
Remember…this is between you and me.
Are you ready?
Your parents, families and teachers are not perfect.
Now, I realize that this revelation might come as a big shock to
you, but it is true. I encourage all of the parents, grandparents, aunts and
uncles here tonight to talk with these amazing young adults about your own
struggles, disappointments, hurts, and failures and how they have shaped and
strengthened who you are. By sharing
your own vulnerabilities, you ultimately offer your graduate the gift of
self-compassion, self-acceptance and the recognition that if perfection is the
goal we will always fall short.
Life is precious. As you go
from here tonight…rightfully proud of all you’ve accomplished and hopeful for a
bright future, try to envision yourself in the year ahead. There will be times that test you…experiences
that challenge who you think you are and who you want to be. Remember in those moments to be kind to
yourself. Treat yourself as you would a close friend...with compassion and
heart. Embrace your imperfect self and
measure yourself not in terms of how flawless your performance but by how
authentic your life.
As Brene Brown writes, “You’re imperfect and you’re wired for struggle,
but you are worthy of love and belonging."
We love you. You will
always belong here in Robbinsville.
Congratulations and God speed.